How ‘Sparketypes’ can help you know what you are doing with your life

It isn’t exactly what I’m paid to do, however it will infuse all of my interactions, and dictate a lot of my own pastimes.

The French call it a raison de ’être, that roughly equates to “reason for presence ”. 

I have too. I’ve steered myself throughout the odd existential catastrophe. It’s unbelievably tricky to find out exactly what ’s below your nose.
Which of those ten Sparketypes is yours?
You will identify with a single or two of them (as stated by the system, ”  possess a main and shadow kind ).

What are you doing with your life?
Beyond working and parenting I mean. I know you’ve wondered it…
The Sparketypes attempt to catch each of the visible things we like to do with our own lives. They are broad sorts of things, also aren’t restricted to a job.

Name what is already there.  Your Own “item ” is something invulnerable for your character, and heart to your individuality. It’s pouring out of you and it may not be anything to do with your own job.

Educating; advising others in which I could. That’s what I am doing with my own life.

  • The Maker – the man or woman who resides to turn ideas into reality.
  • The Essentialist – the individual who feels alive when they make order out of chaos.
  • The Performer – the individual who enlivens any interaction. 
  • The Warrior – the person who is driven to organize and lead people.
  • The Sage – the particular man who’s driven to instruct and discuss wisdom.
  • The Advocate – the man or woman who champions the others.

    What are you doing? What makes you feel the most alive, as you get it done?

    I urge you to take a look at this free online appraisal

    What am I doing with my own life?
    The post The Way ‘Sparketypes’ make it possible for you to understand what you are doing with your life appeared initially on Art of Wellbeing.
    This week whilst listening to one of my favourite podcasts The Good Life Project, I heard of something known as the Sparketypes. It’s a system from author/entrepreneur Jonathan Fields. 

Nothing to achieve

A lot of modern stress comes from the mistaken belief that we should always be working on a better version of ourselves, always looking for greater success. 

In all ten directions of the universe, there is only one truth.

When we see clearly, the great teachings are the same.

What can ever be lost? What can be attained?

If we attain something, it was there from the beginning of time.

If we lose something, it is hiding somewhere near us.

Ryokan, 1758–1831, Zen Monk and poet

Social Media and the Myth of the Perfect Life

Check out your social media feed, and you’ll probably see people ‘virtue signalling‘ in one of three key areas

  • Reaching‘ – people displaying wealth, education or success
  • Related‘ – people celebrating marriage, children or monogamy
  • Responsibility‘ – people flaunting their health, altruism and free will

People show off all the time and, arguably, that’s what social media is for. However, social media life portrays a cookie-cutter Kardashian caricature of the good life – which can actually be at odds with happiness – the degree to which we experience and evaluate life positively and with purpose.

In his new book Happy Ever After: Escaping the Myth of the Perfect Life – Professor Paul Dolan, LSE psychologist and a leading researcher in human wellbeing, deconstructs the skin-thin social narratives of happiness in social media and beyond. His thesis is that social media magnifies the importance of these 3R’s – Reaching, Related and Responsibility – and this can undermine human happiness.

Drawing from his extensive international research into happiness and wellbeing, Dolan points to evidence that ‘Reaching‘ for money, educational attainment or occupational success can indeed increase wellbeing, but pushed to the extreme this can backfire. For example, those investing the most time and effort in making money tend to be less happy, not least because their focus on chasing riches means they have little time for other activities known to improve happiness. Dolan points to similar evidence for the fetishisation of education and occupational status. Nonetheless, social media magnifies a mythic social narrative of the perfect life built on reaching for success, wealth and educational achievement.

Likewise, how ‘Related‘ we feel – through romantic partnerships or children is indeed linked to happiness. But social media amplifies this social narrative and becomes prescriptive. For example, the typical parent in the UK will advertise their parental success by posting 1000 images of each child online before they reach the age of five. Yet, married with kids is not the only template for happiness and fulfilment. Nor is hormone-infused ‘passionate love’, which typically only lasts for up to two years, before evolving to long-term ‘companionate love’. In sum, social media representations can be reductive, prescriptive and misguided templates for love and life. Escaping the myth of the perfect life involves a more critical view of social media representations of relatedness.

Social media virtue signalling also includes displays of personal ‘Responsibility‘, including showing off how healthy, helpful or resilient we are. These traits are linked to happiness, but they tend to celebrate self-determination and discount the role of genetic factors, social environment, context or plain randomness. In doing so they perpetuate what Dolan sees as a myth of meritocracy, that anyone can make it if they try hard enough. Once more, escaping the myth of the perfect life means breaking out of stereotypical social narratives amplified and asepticized by social media.

At the end of Happy Ever After: Escaping the Myth of the Perfect Life, Dolan comes down (tentatively) on the need to regulate our social media consumption, just as we regulate alcohol and tobacco. It’s not that social media is bad per se, argues Dolan, indeed social media can be positive in facilitating alternative social narratives, it’s just that we don’t know how to manage it – yet.

Save Yourself (the World will take Care of Itself)

Fair warning: this post got a little preachy I’m afraid. 

It isn’t your job to save the world.

It isn’t even your duty to right the wrongs you see at a granular level. Not primarily, anyway.

Your first job is to become the fullest version of yourself.

What are your deepest longings, and are you pursuing them? Is your curiosity being satisfied? Creative longings quelled? Is your outer life reflecting the inner world?

Are you living your truth?

If no, consider getting your head out of the news and other people’s business.

Your own life needs your attention.

Where charity begins

Charity begins at home. So be charitable to yourself.

Love yourself, and treat your body with respect. Forgive yourself, and do anything else you need to do in order to be in a high functioning, positive state.

Don’t be self-absorbed. Self-absorption makes you small and neurotic – and small and neurotic people are dangerous!

Be healthily self-centered, rather than self-preoccupied. Act with considerate self-interest. If you’re psychologically healthy, and you haven’t suffered a lot in life, then doing what makes you feel good will probably benefit everybody else.

Do not actively harm the physical environment around you – that goes without saying. Aim to be a benign-or-better influence on your environment, until you have tidied your own house. And by house, I mean your own thinking and actions. Then go save the world, if that is what you desire.

Just start with you. That’s all I’m saying.

Facebook loves your righteousness, your commenting, and your trolling, because it keeps it in business.

I can’t even look at it. All I see is big people distracting themselves under the pretense of doing good.

Stop deferring your life

This isn’t a dress rehearsal. Life isn’t, I mean.

How long have you been saying “I’ll do that later”. Later is running out.

Avoid the synthetic hits of meaning, and the dopamine shots from technology misuse. Instead, steer yourself towards the truer sources of joy and meaning. Look to your connections with people, the things you’re good at and you get lost in.

Stay attuned to your mission, if you happen to know what it is. If you don’t, then find out. (I recommend having a “sort of” mission; one that is open to redefinition).

Don’t let the wrong pursuits, the wrong people rob you of energy. Don’t do that to yourself, as you are probably your own worst enemy on that front.

Reclaim your psychological real estate. Spend some time thinking about current affairs, if that’s in service of critical thinking. Just don’t go spending it all there.

Unless you work in politics and have influence there, your time is better spent where you have genuine influence: in your own community.

Look around you if you want to make a difference to someone.

I guarantee you will not need to look far.

Save yourself (nobody else is going to)

If you’re unhappy, then figure out why and do something about it. Don’t just put up with it, as that means we will all have to.

There is no excuse not to find work you like, or to organise your work so that it plays to your strengths.

And there is no reason to stay unhealthy; you have the resources you need.

If you’re overweight, don’t outsource the work of losing it to some diet, or personal trainer. Figure out why you use food the way you do, and then change it.

If it’s hard, then stick with it. Dig your heels in. Focus on the little ways that what you are doing now is enjoyable, as well as the better future that awaits you.

Stop deferring the pain of growth. That pain is your life.

If you’re a little bit broken, then chill out because we all are. Make your cracks into something beautiful.

If you’re lonely, then focus on being good company for others.

If you’re (not too) depressed, then try focus on making those around you happy. It’ll help.

Do what you can to keep your perspective level headed. It’ll never be completely unbiased, but you can get it pretty close if you’re willing to doubt your judgments every now and again. Stay humble.

Stop blaming all of the following: parents, ex boyfriends, parents, ex wives, parents, your employer, your local councilor, your lawyer.

In short, save yourself.

Nobody else is going to.

The post Save Yourself (the World will take Care of Itself) appeared first on Art of Wellbeing.

I met my girlfriend’s parents – and realised I had once slept with her father

She is everything for me and I was going to propose — but now he has Advised me to Finish it with her

Five decades back, I went through a bi phase and used to sleep with pretty much everyone which came together, including other men. This changed once I fell in love with my new partner, who is everything to me. I recently met with her parents and halfway through lunch realised I had slept with her daddy. I was planning to propose, but when my partner and her mother were off, he told me to finish it with his own daughter. I am clearly in love — shall I simply ignore him, or tell my partner?
I’m not convinced you could ever have a comfortable future along with your new partner. Hiding the fact would lead to toxic secret-keeping that might be equally harmful in the long run. If this entire family was as open-minded and sexually available as possible, it may be possible that you become a part of it. However, the father — the former lover has made it crystal very clear you won’t be welcome. Walk away now, and avoid the massive pain that would otherwise be levied on your spouse, her loved ones as well as yourself.
Continue reading…

Wellbeing app becomes a Unicorn

  • Boost happiness – how can you use digital technologies to assist in improving client happiness?
  • Reduce pressure – how can you utilize digital technology to help reduce customer stress?
  • Reduce pressure – how do you use digital technologies to help lessen customer stress?
  • Construct self-esteem – how do you use digital technology to assist in improving client self-esteem (self-respect or even self-regard)?
  • Boost focus – how can you use digital technology to help improve customer focus (focus )?
  • Better sleep – how do you use digital technology to assist clients sleep better at night (e.g. by resolving the problems keeping them alert!) ?

Already the poster-child of all Apple’s top program fad of the year, Calm now unites the exclusive club of ‘unicorns‘ (private businesses valued at more than $1bn), via a brand new $88m round of funding, The present world population of unicorns now stands at around 300, along with the Calm app is the earliest in the digital wellbeing space.
These simple human-first questions will allow you to deploy digital technologies in a means that enriches human health.

What exactly does your new look like on Calm?
In the event you have been in any doubt regarding the rising importance of wellbeing, now ’s $1bn valuation of this popular wellbeing app Calm should provide you pause for consideration.
One simple and practical activity for many brands would be to envision what your manufacturer would seem like on ‘Calm’. To do this, easy ask yourself how to use digital technologies to ease the health goals on the brand new program.

In a world where digital technologies gets a bad rap for being a danger to health, Calm shows the prospect of electronic to benefit wellbeing too.