Explain your choices to your parents and don’t tell them they were wrong to vote Leave, says Mariella Frostrup. No matter what happens we all, Remainers and Brexiters, have to learn to live harmoniously
The dilemma We’ve had a child since the referendum, and I feel a Brexit-related chasm is opening up between our family’s generations. My husband and I are moderate in our political views and both voted to remain in the EU. My parents and mother-in-law voted to leave. I look at my daughter and feel devastated that her world is potentially going to be smaller than mine, with fewer opportunities to live, love and work as she pleases. Our own parents are dependent upon us for varying levels of care. This has been mildly frustrating in the past, but we both have loving families and a strong sense of duty. We’ve talked about leaving the UK for a more open and inclusive society, but don’t want to leave our parents dependent on paid-for care. Whichever option we explore, we’re increasingly resentful our parents voted for us to be in this position (based on various arguments, some with racist undertones), and that they don’t even recognise the situation. Should we raise it with them? I fear a permanent rift, but brewing resentment doesn’t feel healthy either.
Mariella replies Talk about the nation’s debate in a microcosm! It was only a matter of time before this toxic political fracas, currently dividing us like the most bitter of divorces, came to haunt lifestyle pages as well as the headlines. So many families and friendships have been torn asunder by the passion disgorged on both sides, with the only comfort being that it’s a long while since people engaged with politics with such ferocity.